An "A" Worshiper in a "B" Body

Singing to the Deaf
talent was not always a requirement. I got my first guitar when I was a sophomore in high school and after contorting my seemingly useless hand into multiple odd and uncomfortable shapes slicing my perfectly soft fingertips over the cutting brass strings I sat it down for about a year. Constant prodding from my brother and a drive to be able to sing and play like others I envied found me picking it up again. I knew I needed to play in front of people in order to get better. So I started goingI started singing as soon as I could speak. I used to entertain guests from the stage of our bay window using the chord from a window shade as my microphone. Tickets were free and I took requests as long as you stayed within the parameters of Conway Twitty and Merle Haggard. It was natural. As I grew up I bagged the lead in every church play our youth choir put on. When I was in high school Christian music really took off. Bands were being signed daily and sadly to nursing homes and playing in front of elderly people who would not dare discourage a young man who was willing to get them a glass of water so they could take their back pill. The truth they wouldn’t disclose was it was bad. I mean bad. I would often stop playing and just keep singing because I had no idea how to play a “D” chord. Even if I did I could not get to it fast enough from the “C” to keep the song going smoothly. I did this for many months and did see some improvement, but it wasn’t until I got to college that I really started playing better. Eventually, songs like “Light the Fire” and “Lord I Your Name On High” became some songs I could play and not the songs I could play. Throughout my history of singing I never had anyone who didn’t like my voice or leadership when it came to leading worship. I have to be honest, I did not grow up around great music on Sunday mornings. It consisted of an organ, piano, and a hymnal. The solos were sung to accompaniment tracks. It was not very impressive, but at the time I did not know any better. I remember God speaking to me powerfully during those years. I remember coming ready to listen to what God wanted to say and I heard him, despite less than engaging worship.

Expectation is Expected
most fun I have ever had leading and playing with other people. I realize now that I had sort of stayed in a comfort zone during that time. Playing music that I could handle and never attempting something so great that I would look or sound bad if I tried it. This was not always intentional, but mostly by necessity as we played week after week and I did not have time to spend learning a bunch of new chords and arrangements. It wasn’t till after I graduated and moved to Perimeter that I realized I was not as great as I thought. This came out as I heard recording of my voice for the first time. Also I got some of my first negative feedback about my singing, playing, and leading. This is not to say that those earlierIn college I got better and gained a bit of a following “who loved when I lead in worship.” It was a bit of a trip playing every week with some really talented band members, like my brother. Tackling song after song as we came across them. That was the experiences in college were in genuine, or the people who loved it were lying, but the expectation was not as high. We were playing around in a living room without microphones. Expectation plays a huge role in people’s perception of an event. Think about it. How often are we less than impressed or disappointed at the singing of the Star Spangling Banner at the Super Bowl? Or the commercials for that matter? Often, you don’t remember it, or you remember how disappointing it was. I have found that the moment people drive on our property and see the size of our building, accompanied by the organization and attention to detail they see once they enter in creates an expectation of greatness and professionalism. So anything less than that is seen as not memorable or a little disappointing. So what would be seen as great at one church would be perceived as second rate at another church. I know that we would love to believe that people hold corporate church music differently, but our experience would speak otherwise. I understand that this is something that naturally happens, but I wrestle with how much the church should combat this ever rising bar, and keep the focus on worship and not musical performances and seamless transition. Peter, a dear friend and musician, was sharing with me the other day that production and expectation naturally seem to grow as the church grows. That was no surprise to me. He added that what happens is that production and expectation can become these hungry monsters, and bigger, better, newer, and different become the main subjects of programming meetings. Eventually we can become slaves to them. The community draws together weekly, it seems, to feed their (production and expectation) ever growing and changing appetites. Is that what corporate worship is supposed to be? Does programming have to create bigger and better to maintain interest? I would hope that corporate worship would be the gathering of the community where production and expectation would bend around the needs of the community. Wherever we land on this, I think the Word is clear that this is not entertainment we are putting together week after week.

“A+” Worship
Let’s just be honest. We are talking about worship thru music, which is only one small aspect of a life of worship. I would be remised if I did not confess that we focus far to intently on our singing as it relates to worship and miss the greater calling to worship through eating, drinking, driving to work, and pirating music. We have a statement that we say all the time around here. “The heart of the worshiper is critical to the beauty of the worship.” I believe in this statement. I think that it comes right out of God’s word. It serves as a reminder that the most beautiful sounds without a heart bent towards God is nothing. We all know that we can have excellent sound and meet people’s expectation while falling short of God’s expectation, which is a heart bent in humble reliance on Him. We can also put people on stage every week with great hearts, but lack the musical talent to meet the expectation of those in attendance. This begs the following questions:

1.) “Are there great musicians with no heart that should not be on stage?
Let’s be honest, no one has a heart worthy of worshiping before a Holy God. It is important to get that out of the way. However, God’s Holy Worship does require someone with a broken and contrite heart. While we can’t look inside the human heart, we can see the fruit that comes out of the heart. It is from there that wise men of the church make the decision of whether or not someone should be on stage. It should not be an issue that the church would want to guard the stage and the worship of God’s people. I know that churches vary in their guarding approaches, but the Bible is clear that the worship of God is something to be guarded and protected. It is high and holy and should be held above concerts and shows meant to entertain.
2.) “Are there musicians with great hearts that should not be on stage?”
I little harder question to answer. My knee jerk reaction is “Yes,” but from a preacher’s perspective he is limited to those in his congregation. He might have people with great hearts, but not a lot of musical talent. That is easier to say working where talent or budget is more plentiful. At some point we do the best we can with what we have? Right? Do not underestimate the calling we have in creating worship services. Keep in mind, “the heart of the worshiper is critical to the beauty of the worship.” So what is beautiful, and in the our world of consumerism, who’s definition of beauty do we adhere to? I have to be honest, as I look back on my life as a member of visible church of God, the most awesome and challenging times of worship were not lead by best musicians I have ever heard. Furthermore, how awesome and challenging it was had almost nothing to do with the music at all.

Beauty is in the Heart of the Beholder
Our worship of God is awesome when we behold God for who He is and what He has done. Period. We do not need help worshiping either. We were designed for worship. We worship something everyday. We are great worshipers. We don’t need musicians, music, or buildings to make it happen. Our problem is we still live in a fallen world, and speak a dead language (the language of sin). The corporate worship of God’s people is a chance to come together as a community (or body) and realign our thoughts with His thoughts and our ways with His ways. It is an opportunity to experience God for who He is and instantaneously be moved to confess how far short we fall. Then we hear the gospel, about Christ, our hope of glory, every week! And we receive afresh the grace given freely at the cross where He died to make things right again. And we walk away in the joy of Christ of Savior. Which makes me think much less attention should be paid to the stylistic preferences of the few or the loud commentators. We live in a consumer based society where it’s “your way right away.” “You want seasoned fries or waffle-cut with that?” Have you counted how many types of Coke there are lately? Let’s not forget our consumer, costumer, and benefactor should be God in corporate worship. He is the object of our worship. I have plenty of stories of talking to someone and having the conversation turn to how “they like to worship.” We should come to worship with far fewer expectations and absolutely no demands! We should have nothing in our hands but our sin in one hand and God’s promises in the other. So whenever I am approached with a comment about a service negative or positive I am starting to steer the conversation to what is most important in my mind. “Where you able to meet with God today?” “How did you come into corporate worship?” Understand, no one can protect his or her morning from disruption. I am fully aware that the evil one does not take off on Sunday. In fact, it might be safe to say that it is the busiest day of the week. He spends tons of time in the parking lots, the bathrooms, the hallways, and the nursery doing everything he can disrupt you coming to worship empty handed. He would love for you to bring in your expectations, criticisms, and demands and spend the entire service waiting for them to be addressed personally. From my perspective worship on Sunday can be a lot of work. Often, I am in three-way battle all morning with the evil one, God, and myself. Some questions I ask myself after a service that could be helpful are the following: “Did I enter the service with expectations, criticism, or demands in my heart?” “Did I take an opportunity to confess my sin before God and ask for forgiveness?” “Did I come more today to get or to give?” “Was there any grieving in my heart over the sins I have committed against God?” There are plenty of other questions you could ask, these are just a few that frequent my brain before and after services.

In A “B” Body
So what does it mean to worship “in a “B” Body?” Let’s start by asking the question what makes a good worshiper? I make the distinction between worshiper, and worship leader because honestly our culture has. A worship leader could be said to be musical, have a marketable voice, spend over $30 a month on hair, wear cool cliché ridden clothes that appear to have been borrowed or found, carry an ipod, and be the best at leaving the crowd “up” or “down” depending on where the speaker wants them when its their turn. Right? I know that the term “lead worshiper” has been used recently to describe what we should be, but doesn’t that term bring a tingle down your spine when you think about what it would be like to be lead by that person or persons in corporate worship every week? I am not trying to expose myself of some dirty little secret. I love leading God’s people in corporate worship and I take it very seriously, hence the pages of thoughts. I consider it an honor every time I am up there, but as a worship leader I have to confess that I now have a section in my closet for stage clothes. I find myself rolling wax into my hair to get it to stick up where my whole life I have been trying to get it to lay down. I watch other worship leaders subconsciously taking in tips and suggestions on how to get the people “worshipping.” My desire is to see the people of God worship Him for who he truly is, but I have to be honest, as a “worship leader,” I think I get in the way of that. There are some weekends where the service is so complicated with personal mixes, music, and seamless transitions that I show up hoping that the sound equipment just stopped working overnight, or that a water main broke and we are going to have to hold church outside in the parking lot. I’ve been to services like that before; those are the ones you do not soon forget. There is a greater sense of mystery and anticipation present, if only in my heart. So back to the question, what’s a “B” Body? It’s me. It's you. But since its my article I will keep the light on me for now. Let’s face it, I am never going to get it right. When it comes to worship leading, I am no Pavarotti on vocals, I have to make myself practice the guitar, I get so wrapped up in being in God’s presence that I sometimes loose the place in the song. I’m messy and no real musician. I only enjoy playing one on the weekends sometimes with my friends and family.

Worship has got to be more than good music, smooth transition and polished performance. My safety net for all these stunning confessions is that none of us have it right. We all have “B” bodies. No one has tamed this wild, passionate, and mostly controversial thing called worship, nor ever will, but there will come a time when we will know as we are fully known. Until that day we groan with anticipation.