Killing Is Killing

Did you ever play Clue as a kid? The conclusions were always simple. After a bit, you would make the declaration with certainty Col. Mustard in the library with the wrench. Then you opened the small brown envelope only for confirmation. In that game it was always clear and straightforward. Unlike the show CSI which looks for ways to try and fool you each week on how the death occurred and who did it. I am a huge fan of CSI Vegas (the only true CSI, the rest are posers!).

Perhaps, its time I explained the title and why I have spent the first portion talking about murder. This is about murder, but more the verbal kind then the aforementioned. Were you ever told to “kill someone with kindness?” To kill someone with kindness is to overwhelm or harm someone with mistaken or excessive benevolence. This expression originated as kill with kindness as fond apes do their young (presumably crushing them to death in a hug) and was a proverb by the mid-1500s. You also see the phrase used in Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew as well as a Alfred Hitchcock episode. The way it always came up in my life was after someone had done something to me that was more than worthy of physical or verbal retribution. The greater wisdom was always “don’t stoop to their level; instead try killing them with kindness.” While my actions might have seemed peaceful my heart’s intent was far worse.


When it comes to verbal homicide we are all serial killers in some shape or form. We all have a way of slaying someone with our words. Some are the Colonel Mustards of the bunch. They use a verbal pipe wrench, swinging it violently, no thought, plenty of anger and emotion. Drawing a lot of attention and scrutiny to their behavior and malicious intent.

I want to point out another type of person, who could come off cleaner and nicer, but who’s actions can be just as hurtful: silent killers. We use phrases like killing with kindness to justify our premeditated indifference. We say we are taking the high road, which sounds great, yet we are really searching for a way to create distance between our victims and us. You won’t see us in many shouting matches, yelling obscenities and throwing elbows. We will use time, space, and manipulation to do what we have gotten “scary-good” at doing. We do away with our victims and usually walk away squeaky-clean. Looking calm, under control, dare I say holy? It usually turns out not being what we did to the person, but what we purposely chose not to do. Cause of death: Immurement. Ever heard that before? Listen to this. Immurement is a form of execution where a person is walled up within a building and left to die from starvation or dehydration. Since the beginning of time you have seen this in civilizations as a form of capitol punishment or political suicide. I don’t know about you, but that would have me looking for Colonel Mustard at some point. The phrases used above are not licenses from dear old dad, in all his wisdom, to detach and disown people and any sort of conflict.

So which of these do you most resemble? Are you Colonel Mustard or a Brick Layer? Both have heart-level issues. Look at this verse:

21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. 22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.
Proverbs 25: 21-22

This verse is used often to explain phrases like, “killing with kindness” and “taking the high road.” It speaks of how to deal with conflict. It sounds so appealing to us because, lets face it, who hasn’t wanted to dump burning coals on someone who has wronged us? There have been times were I have really connected with the character from Snatch, Bricktop. You didn't ever want to cross Bricktop.
Here's a quote, "Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible &*#@... me." At our heart-level we desire vengeance. There are two things that stick out to me in this scripture. 1. Moving towards the other person in service and love is always the response asked of us. 2. Doing so will help to refine our enemy’s heart, like the process used in precious metals to draw out impurities, and you will be rewarded for playing your part in the process.